Finger 5

I am living in the future. In L.A. it is yesterday evening. So, they have not reached the new year, but it is already 2010 here. For New Years on TV they are showing an oldies favorites revisited. All the idols from the 70`s and 80`s. One of my favorites was Finger 5.


This is called "Gakuen Tengoku" (School Heaven). This song is about how school would be heaven even when he is studing, if he could sit next to the pretty girl he likes when they get to choose their seats.

Vocab Update

I am trying to write down every word that I hear that I don`t know. That is impossible, but shoot for the moon and you reach the stars.

okawari - refill, okawari dekimasu - you can refill
aji - flavor
shin-nen - new year
yaru yankei - kansai dialect for "good choice," or "niiiice"
tashika ni - "I feel that way, too."
yoyuu - "no prob," "piece o` cake," "ain`t a thang"

ex. "Jonii wa biiru o futatsu nomu koto wa yoyuu da yo."
"Drinking 2 beers ain`t a thang for Jonny."

okama - gay
nerimono - fish paste tube
maka - really red
fukuzatsu - complex (adj.)
daradara - lazy
hirune - nap
suroupu - ramp

(they just say "slope")

yakkyoku - pharmacy
usui - skinny
senmai - cramped

A Day on a Plane

So, finally Sachi and I boarded the place we would be for the next 12 hours. After that we would wait 3 hours in Beijing and fly another 3 hours to Osaka. It had been at least 8 years since I got on a plane, so needless to say I was ecstatic. So was she:


We flew Air China. I had to break my boarding pass out of a fortune cookie. Really bad joke. One of our flight attendants was very beautiful, but not terribly friendly (at least, according to my American definition of amiable).


Before flying, a video was played--as Sachi put it--that showed us what to do "when we die." More precisely, it shows us the most appropriate position in which to die. That position being two fingers in your eyes and a thumb up your ass.



The in-flight movie on our flight was "Kung-Fu Cyborg." Not a joke. The 12 hours, went by surprisingly fast and we finally arrived in Beijing International Airport. There was no heating in the airport and the temperature was in the negatives.


Maybe they were just tired, but the people in the airport seemed really rude. I`m not expecting them to roll out the red carpet for the big American, but it was pretty bad. I got to a customs gate and handed them my papers. Instead of handing me the one she did not need, she flicked past the one I handed her and yanked the one she needed without a word. The people who examined and patted me down thoroughly at the x-ray were no more accommodating. Unique circumstances, but I did not have the greatest experience in Beijing.

At the airport Sachi and I shared an 8 dollar coffee served in what we both recognized to be an Ikea cup. I`m not sure how I feel about "Feelings."


After the 3 hour wait, it was a 3 hour flight to Osaka. No problem.

待ってね

I have been here two days and a month stay seems short. There is so much to take in and I want to write about so much, however, I really need to gather my thoughts. Give me some time and I will have something for you. I can tell you this, though: I am already thinking about how sad it will be to leave this place.

Born to Run

I spent my last days in America as American as possible. I went to McDonald's. I can't remember, honestly, the last time I ate there. As I chewed on what appeared to be a hamburger, but had the flavor and texture of a rubber tire, I was reminded why. I had a Coca-Cola Classic with that.

Afterwards, I headed to Roger's Exciting Tattle-Tale bar in Culver City, a safe-haven for the mid-life crisis. Karaoke all night long, and it was Kema's birthday. Large divorced women licked shots and kissed each other for balding men as white grandmas got low to the sounds of Snoop D-O-DOUBLE G. There I tasted my last drop of American beer: a 24-ounce Coors Light, which weighed heavy on my pocketbook. At the end of the night, we said farewell with one last song for the road.



I can`t think of a better, more American send off than Kid Rock. Finally, after much nail-biting and waiting, we got in line to board the plane to Beijing. We saw this cool guy. Look out underage male sex slaves!



I`ll miss you America.

Biggest Macs

Something I will see less of in Japan--fat parents teaching their fat kids great consumer/health lessons at In 'N Out. I have been thinking about diet in Japan. I pulled some statistics.

According to a report from the Trust for America's Health in 2009, adult obesity has increased in America in 23 states, and not decreased in a single one. 31 states have an obesity rate above 25 percent.

In contrast, World Audit (a comparison of various statistics world-wide) ranks Japan among the lowest countries for obesity. Japan also ranks 6th place in Life Expectancy rates, according to the CIA World Factbook. Interestingly (and ironic) enough, Japan ranks 4th highest for tobacco consumption. What a great diet can do for you! Finally, just to balance my praises out, you can view Japan's low rankings in Gender Empowerment, and suicide.

I'll be looking forward to a rice and fish enema.

Gulliver's Travels

Four years I have studied a language and culture that I have not had direct contact with at all. Now I bring all of my presuppositions and biases into that country. My impression of Japan is that once going, I may never want to come back. Bored with, tired of, and angry at so many qualities of the country I live in, anywhere seems like a great place, especially Japan. However, I may find out the exact opposite. I am about to be a foreigner for the first time.

Public transportation is light years ahead of the U.S. No urban sprawl. I can ride my bike or take a bus to many of the places I need to go. I will no longer be afraid of the bus sneaking by me, because another will be exactly on time in about two minutes. Independence is more easily facilitated. The food is healthier, and there are fast-food alternatives for people who are in a hurry. Consideration for others, politeness, and respect for the order of society could drive a hot-blooded American like myself insane, but on the contrary, I believe it will bring me serenity. Even the greater sense of community in contrast to the ever-asserted individuality of Americans will be refreshing. Will this true-blue, country boy with punk sensibilities be able to put his autonomy aside for harmony with others?

If you know me at all, you know that I'm ready to leave the roaches, the dirt, the smog, the L.A. hip-dads, politics, the christians, the homophobes, the gentrification, the drastic class margin, the hamburgers, and the college-liberal fake-hippies behind. Of course, everywhere you go is going to have it's disadvantages and it's assholes. I also understand that visiting a country for leisure and dwelling there are two distinctly differing viewpoints. However, I'm still convinced it's going to be a magical wonderland. There, no one can ever suffer! My values and my style just seem to tilt East. I can't wait to get the hell out of this country. Let's see if I'm wrong.