Dork Dreams

I went to all the necessary geek-out places in Japan. First was Akihabara. This was a gadget freak's wettest fantasy.


If you like computers, they've got that.


If you like video games, they've got that.


If you like anime porn, they've got that.


If you like toys, they've got that.

If you look like you just crawled out of a cave. You'll probably end up here in Japan.


After that, I headed to the Mecca. My childhood was wasted on it, so I knew had to at least stop by and pay my respects. I hopped on a train and stopped in Hamamatsuchou. There is the Pokemon Center, the official headquarters of all Pokemon merchandise. Inside a tiny boy's head was exploding all over me. I played it cool, though.

In Japanese: "Do you think this backpack would fit my little brother? He's 8 years old."

Thought process: "Do you have this in an XXXL size?"

At the cash register: "This is for my little brother."

Thought process: "Maybe Jeremiah doesn't need the backpack and the stuffed toy. I could just keep this..."


Finally, M and I headed to a Taito Game Center. We took Purikura booth pictures and I hopped inside a futuristic pod and fought in two hyper-realistic Gundam battles. Many of the people in the arcade were full grown men in suits slamming their digital cards onto screens which allowed them to battle on RPGs.


"I feel sorry for these misunderstood, maladroit misanthropes," I thought, as I pulled on my Pikachu suit and got ready to pose for the camera.